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Telling Your BF About The Number Of Your Sexual Partners

By on June 24, 2014
Should you tell your boyfriend how many guys you've slept with?

Very often men ask their girlfriends how many guys they’ve slept with. This is the question that might often lead to breakups or even meltdowns (if a man that asked it isn’t ready for the true answer yet – if he ever will be). So the question is: should you tell him the real number? If not what should you actually do?

First, let’s briefly talk about why guys actually ask this question. There are many reasons why they do that, but in this case it’s best to focus on a couple of those. First, they want to find out if you are a “wife material”. What does that mean? Well, most guys think that if a girl slept only with a couple of guys then she will be a great wife and never cheat on them. Obviously, they are delusional – even girls who haven’t slept around can cheat on their husbands easily.

Another reason why guys ask this question is because deep inside instinctively they often view their girlfriend as an innocent princess, somebody who belongs only to them. For some reason they are also hurt when they find out that she is not as innocent as they thought she was. Their imagination also paints vivid pictures of her getting nailed by a bunch of guys and, needless to say, most men can’t handle that.

No matter what the reasons for asking you about the number of sexual partners are, the most important part is the answer. There are two answers: the good answer and the real answer.

The good answer is based on your perception of him. Probably by now you have already figured out if he is conservative or not and if he would be ok with you having slept around or having fucked a lot of partners. If he is one of those guys who think that if a girl has slept with more than 5-7 guys she is a whore, then you know what do: just tell him that you’ve been with 4 guys unless, of course, he already knows about your one-nights stands and 15 relationships within a year. If he is smart enough he will probably multiply that number by 2, but he will still be ok with what you’ve said. If he is inexperienced and naive then he will be happy and proud of having such an innocent girlfriend.

Now the real answer. Many guys are not ready to handle the truth, so if you tell them that you’ve been with 10+ guys and had a couple of threesomes then they will get all butt-hurt and will start talking about what a whore you are. A guy like that might even break up with you: might think that you are not a wife material, or that you are likely to cheat on him or that you are dumb if you told him the right answer. Some guys of course might not stick to double standards so they won’t care about how many guys you’ve slept with. Unfortunately, you don’t often come across guys like this and even if you do, subconsciously they might still look for an inexperienced girl.

So what to do? Really in this case it comes down to your being ready for the breakup if your boyfriend doesn’t like the answer to his question. If you are ready to do that, then go ahead and give him the exact number (or approximate if you don’t rmemember how many guys you have fucked). However, if dont think that you could easily get through the breakup aftermath, then you will probably have to lie.

I am not saying that it’s the best way out, but there isn’t much you can do. You could be honest with your boyfriend and keep telling him that you really love him and that your past shouldn’t affect your relationship, but at the end of the day he might just not be able to get over your past and will dump you because of his inability to do so.

I don’t really blame guys for acting like that. Everyone has  their own set of beliefs and principles and they should stick to them if they believe that they are right and stay true to themselves. Though some men should learn to handle the truth, i.e. not just mindlessly expect a girl to have slept only with a couple of guys, but to actually keep in mind that many girls have been with a lot of sexual partners and they should know prior to asking that question what they will do if they don’t like the answer. They should either get over it or break up right away. There is no point in staying with a girl and nagging her about what a whore she is. If you don’t like her past, just dump her. End of story.

This way neither of you will waste time on a relationship that won’t work anyway.

About Cris Pearson

I am here to help you sort out all of your relationship problems, but my advice is not for the squeamish, so you'd better be ready for the hard truth. After reading my articles you might think that I am heartless, but you will thank me later.

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